Going Cold Turkey on My Manchild Addiction

How I am transitioning towards dating real men in time for the weekend…

Immature feelings and immature relationships, I have plenty of both. Whether it is my tales of unrequited love or my serious love of men who seem to have huge Peter Pan complexes, I’ve got it all right here. It’s been fun, too, at least for a while.

But then I started to grow up, and it became less fun.

I started to deal with my own problems and manage my own life as an adult, in addition to managing my career — which, being a creative in Australia meant managing a whole business as our work is seen as such in the legal and tax context — it has been good to grow up, but then I find I am leaving these man-children behind, yet not always wanting to.

It was late on one Saturday night though when I realized that no matter what, I really had to quit. I had to go cold turkey on the man-children.

At the time, I had tinder — the perpetual home of man-children — buzzing with messages from boys about all manner of stupid topics: how women really had it easier than them and feminism was a lie; how I looked too nice to be on here (read: too much like their sisters and friends when all they wanted was someone they could dehumanize and discard). That was when he popped onto my screen. Right there in my hot little hands was the tinder profile of the boy who I really wanted, the one I had had a crush on for ages, but, nothing seemed to be happening.

I had talked to my friends at length about him. He didn’t seem disinterested, but he wasn’t actively chasing me either. Instead, he seemed like a bit of a lazy cat, waiting for me to talk to him, then batting his eyelids at me, drawing me in until I almost thought there was something there, even though he would always deny it.

Classic man child move.

This one particular Saturday night though was a little different. For one reason or another, my body was awash with hormones. I needed a man, and I needed one quickly.

So I texted the boy I had a crush on, not wanting to wait for him to swipe right on me.

Then, while I waited for the boy I had a crush on to respond, I sent a few tinder messages to boys on the app. My messages…

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