Shamima Begum moves in with Gary Lineker

Following his offer to take in refugees and calls for the ISIS bride to be returned to Britain, Begum has become the first person in need to move into the ex-footballer’s £4m house in Barnes. Aside from the odd story about beheadings, Lineker has said the move is going brilliantly

Reporting by immigration correspondent Mouglas Durray

Notorious ISIS bride Shamima Begum has moved the last of her belongings into Lineker’s West London home as she begins her legal challenge against having her British citizenship stripped.

Images show that Begum didn’t have a lot of things to move in but she was clutching the Union Jack cushion that mysteriously materialised in her tent after people became aware of her predicament.

While many are saying that it is shocking that she has been allowed to return to the country despite demonstrating remarkably little contrition, others are saying it is more of a shock that a celebrity has actually followed through on one of the many promises to take in someone in need.

Begum is thought to be delighted that she is finally able to live in the sort of accommodation first promised to her by ISIS when she was 15 while it is believed Lineker is revelling in doing something opposed by working class Brits and approved by the politically-correct global elite.

Such leaks are coming from a source inside Lineker’s home that is most definitely not his underappreciated minimum wage houseworker.

Our anonymous source has said that on the whole the pair have a lot in common including their general dislike of British people and their values as well as their mutual hatred for anyone who dare strays into free thought.

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She has also quickly settled into some of her favourite hobbies that she picked up on her break in Syria like sewing. Lineker has said that some of the clothes she’s been able to sew are incredibly intricate with various compartments and he reckoned they could be sold for around £30 on Etsy.

She’s also been in touch with the Twickenham Rifle & Pistol Club with the intention of continuing her affinity with shooting she developed while she was away. The club have said they are delighted to be getting such an accomplished new member.

It’s not all been happy households though and Shamima has allegedly said she is disappointed to have ended up in the fake part of London where there’s still a majority of people whose first language is English.

Our source has recorded a little of a conversation between herself and Begum where the ISIS enforcer said: “It’s disgusting. I take a walk down the high street and everyone is white and speaking English with an English accent. This just isn’t the London I know but it would be a good spot for a little bombing or knifing I suppose.”

The pair’s favourite activity to do together is watching Match of the Day — Begum grew up in Bethnal Green and is a massive West Ham fan — and the two are often heard having light-hearted debates about the value of VAR in the modern game.

Although the two generally agree with how diving is a scourge in football, Begum’s proposed punishment of having a hand chopped off for every dive is rather more severe than most other football pundits.

It is Christmas that could provide the biggest moment of contention however.

Lineker is planning on having his family round but Begum also wants her husband Yago Riedijk to visit during the Christmas period but that could possibly push the Lineker festive celebrations beyond the three household limit.

While Lineker doesn’t mind having a couple of ex-ISIS recruits staying in his home, he does take draconian measures impinging on personal freedom in the privacy of your home incredibly seriously.

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