The Art of Moving On

Moving on has always been rough for me. When I’m in a relationship, I get tunnel vision, and it doesn’t just go away because we happen to break up one day.

I think it’s good that most of us experience “moving on” as a process, not something that happens immediately after a break-up. If you really love someone, it’s hard to walk away, even if it’s for a good reason. If you don’t take that time away from your ex and with yourself, you’re doing yourself a disservice. That time is for you. Haven’t you ever heard that some of the best art happens during break-ups?

Our society is so obsessed with how to move on fast and easy. There are so many books, websites, and podcasts titled something close to “How to Move on Fast After a Breakup”. Why? Why do we feel so forced to move on as quickly as possible?

There’s the saying: to get over someone, you have to get under someone new. From personal experience, being with someone else can take your mind off of your ex, for a little while. Once they’re gone, the feelings will rush back to you, maybe even harder than before. You might start comparing the sex, and most likely you’ll know that sex with your ex was better than your one night stand. But at least you had a nice distraction, right?

Soon your friends will start trying to set you up with people. Or maybe you’ll see your ex on a date with someone, which is by far one of the worst feelings in the world. You might wonder how much they really felt for you if it took them only (blank) weeks to start seeing someone new. It’s not a great feeling.

I, along with many other people in this world, have always wondered about when the right time to date someone new was. Is it when I finally stop crying myself to sleep? Or when I can watch our favorite TV show without wanting to text them? I never know. I know that the “right time” is different for everyone, but that doesn’t help me at all. When’s the right time for me?

The process of moving on is quite fascinating. On the first day post-breakup, I am cursing all the couples I know and telling myself that there’s no way I’ll ever find happiness again. One month later, I’ll see a cute girl in my organic chemistry class (don’t take it, I’m begging you) and maybe even talk to her. Life seems to get better.

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